Anxiety = absence

Hello everyone! I just thought I’d write a post about why it’s been so quiet around here for a while. I really hate that I’ve been neglecting the blog but I needed to focus on myself these past weeks.

So what’s been going on with me? Well, what’s been going on has been going on since I was about ten years old but it hasn’t really been a problem until recently. I suffer from anxiety. Anxiety in the form that I worry about things constantly, I don’t function well without structure and my brain won’t shut up, which leads to me not sleeping properly. Until recently I’ve always managed my anxiety somewhat well but after lack of structure and a lot of stress I had two anxiety attacks within a week of each other. For me anxiety attacks are much like panic attacks, I have trouble breathing, I cry and sometimes I throw up. The aftermath of this is kind of like after you’ve had the stomach flu, you feel feverish and sick.

So, I decided to get help. And I did. I started my medication on the 20th of this month. I can’t say that I feel better because it’s going to take a couple of months for the drugs to have effect. I do however notice some things, like the fact that my mouth is dry, constantly and my brain I just kind of, not all there.

So while I’ve been dealing with this I’ve also kind of stayed away from people. I’ve felt that another anxiety attack hasn’t been far off so I’ve just kind of stayed away from things I know have made me anxious in the past. So I haven’t been on Twitter as much.

The thing is that ordinary, daily, mundane things just gets to be too much for me and I can’t go on the way I used too. Some days I feel fine and some days I just feel this anxiety creeping up on me. The anxiety is always there but some days it’s just *more* there. It’s hard to explain.

I have been reading, however so when I feel like I can manage to write the reviews there’ll be a lot of them up!

 

I know that many people keep quiet about these things, but I don’t see the point. I feel that in telling people what’s going on with me they might get a better understanding of why I do the things I do and why I act weird sometimes. I don’t know, maybe I’m crazy.

 

So that’s it. Know that I appreciate you guys very much!

 

Lots of love, Kayla

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